...I hate to admit it but...
this isn't my first one. My first ever girl crush, excuse me...MY FIRST EVER CRUSH was on a girl. She was my best friend.
It started off as a weird friendship one summer. I was a quiet awkward little girl and she was an adventurous, outgoing rambunctious little whipper-snapper. She had the blondest hair I had ever seen and I thought she was the coolest because the chlorine from her pool gave her green highlights. Her pool and her parents were the coolest people I had ever met. I spent so much time being a prissy little unnoticed speck that the idea someone as awesome as her wanting to be my friend perplexed me. Yes, in the 2nd grade I was perplexed.
Babydoll and I were best friends and inseperable for years. It was a weird friendship because I wanted to be exactly like her. Her hairstyles, the music she listened to, the boys she liked, the sports she played, the friends she had and envying her for being herself so badly--
I wanted to live her life. In her house. With her sisters and brothers and parents and dog. I was obsessed with my best friend. Stalkerish right?
Not when you are 7. When we turned 8 I started to want to be less like her and i wanted her to notice me. My very first kiss was when I was 8. I remember the vanilla lip smackers like it was yesterday. Her lips locked tight around mine and my heart falling out of my vagina. What the hell was happening to me?
I'm 9 and i dont give a fuck about boys. I liked basketball and i liked Babydoll. I didnt even like girls i just liked her. My best friend. In love, told everything to her and will never be able to be real with anyone ever again. When we got a little closer she let me find out what being fingered felt like. And I wanted her to feel good too.
My best friend and I went to high school. She did her own thing and I did my own thing. I never met anyone like her again. I tried boys out. But i missed her. I still miss her. MY FIRST LOVE WAS WITH MY BEST FRIEND. Thank you babydoll for loving me back.
Your friend,
xoLyns
Comments