Imaginary Friends

I had an imaginary friend when I was young. Her name was Kelly. She followed right behind me ALWAYS and would leave at times I couldn't understand. Her favorite time to visit me was when I got in trouble. She would tell me to perform these tasks or else she wouldn't come play with me anymore. People back then scared me, just like they do now. Not that they scare me but that they disinterested me. I never fit in. I never belonged. One time she was helping me write my letters and words in kindergarten. We learned the words "cow", "pig", "my", and "too". I traced them once and wrote them underneath the second time. All by myself! Kelly told me she had a sentence i could write out that my mom would be so proud of me. I took my pencil and eagerly wrote "My cow pooped and my pig pooped too". We had learned how to make 'd's the week before. I was proud of my hard creative work. My mom was not. She asked why I wrote that. She said is was gross and to not talk like that. I told mom that it wasn't my fault that it was Kelly's; She told me to write it otherwise she wasn't going to be my friend anymore.

Mom told me imaginary friends werent real but i didnt believe her. Although, Kelly didn't come back without saying goodbye. How could she leave me when I listened to her request?

I met Hokie shortly after loosing Kelly. I think Kelly moved away. Hokie liked to do nice things. She wanted to color with side walk chalk, play "kitchen" and "grocery store", and go to school. Hokie never got in trouble with the teachers. One day at school Kelly came back. We were having ice cream. The teacher asked me sweetly what kind I wanted-chocolate or vanilla in witch i replied "I want poop on my chocolate". Shit. Kelly had spoken but this time it was like she spoke for me. Like she came inside me and said the words with my mouth. The teacher was not happy and neither was Hokie. I sat in time out the first part of recess. Hokie and Kelly were there. Hokie told me her parents were taking her away and she could not tell me where she was going. She said she couldn't be friends with me because I was turning bad. I didnt care because Kelly came back.

Kelly vs. Hokie and Kelly won. She won until the day I stopped being her friend and started doing things for myself. I didnt look to her to cure my boredom anymore and I didnt ask her to move with me. Mom dad and my baby brother moved to Boone and I waved goodbye and watched Kelly through the back window as she stood there. Motionless. Fading, further and further away until she was just ...

GONE.

Love and Rage,

Lyns